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Archive for February, 2012

 

 

We set aside this time to fellowship and break the bread. The setting aside of all our responsibilities for this is always a struggle. A game of chess with schedules. A game worth playing.

We are giddy in each others’ company. Like little girls, small things are hilarious things. We are excited to fellowship together. Excited for the different…this little stepping outside of our homes. For us it is an adventure and a brief leaving behind of everything and the 13 that tie us down… 13 children between the four us.

Love for our creator is a thick cord here. It weaves our friendship, bringing us close, drawing us tight together. A tight that has knitted us for years and holds us even when the rest of life gets to busy for us…all of us…us together. 

 We settle around to eat, being served instead of serving…always serving. The food is delicious and the coffee is served in little cups that light us up, cups too cute not to cherish. In a moment we are wrapped up in each other’s laughter; animated, joyful faces; spoken thoughts. The three beautiful, wise ones lift me up. They nourish me. Together we are kindred and we commune sweetly.

Over a glass and around a mouthful of food, we speak words of encouragement, compassion, love; we bear each other’s burdens for just a little time. Holy Spirit fellowship seeps in and around, only minutes blink by before we feel his hush, his opening our spirits…that cord again. Our conversation runs deep. A deep that is sprayed with frequent giggles and big laughs as we connect and enjoy.

This is koinonia:

 a fellowship where we are humble together, knowing that all of this good, our blessed lives, it is only because we were each, the four of us, called out. Called, like He brought us to worship, called to a saved life, called to understand that all of it is for His glory.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

     
     

 

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anna dishes

Her ponytail perched up there and hair falling down, tickling her cheeks. She pauses every little bit and a sudsy arm brushes away the strays falling in her eyes. Busy, she doesn’t even notice that I am watching…loving her from across the kitchen.

The house is more quiet than its normal banging loud. Baby brother is sleeping and the afternoon has become long.

Helping mommy. She is “big” and the dishes are being washed joyfully. Totally absorbed in the task, she doesn’t realize the beauty I can’t take my eyes off of.

This chore is new to her and it hasn’t become tainted…hated. I’m going to enjoy her pleasure in it until the fun fades into something else. 

I soak in the peacefulness of it. She scrubs softly and the water runs smooth. Sunlight on the soapy water, her pink shirt, gentle movement, they all reflect off the water’s surface. They create colors that slip, change and combine as the bubbles move in an exquisite dance. It is all so slow and lazy. I bask in it.

She reminds me to slow down, to find pleasure in the simplistic, to watch the bubbles bounce. I am thankful for this moment to see the beauty in something that is a hurried, necessary task for me.

“…There is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.  That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.(Ecc. 3:12-13)”

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We Give Books

This is the coolest website I’ve seen in a long time. I cannot wait to start reading through the huge library of children’s books with Anna and Dean. Yay and yay! The title below is just one of many the website lets you read for free!

Hope for Haiti

http://www.wegivebooks.org/

“We Give Books is a free website that enables anyone with access to the Internet to put books in the hands of children who don’t have them, simply by reading online. Simply choose the charity you want to read for and then select the books you want to read. For each book you read online, we donate a book to a leading literacy group on your behalf. The more you read, the more we give.”

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Baby Face

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Fingertip skim. Tracing light

Bridge to nose

Crescent of earth satelite

Lingering

a

Skin kiss

Drooped in sleeping

Declinated to eye-contour

Lashes, powder feathering

Shading

a

Babe rest

Snowball cheeks glowing softly in sync

Curving to dimpled Cupid bowls

Bloodwarmth blushing pink

Illustrating

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God touch

Softest red, reflective with a sweet dew sheen

Poised to slightly part

                        Window for air breaths with life between

Promising

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Babe awakening

A constellation sparkles in your face

Dazzling to my love-swooned stare

Perfect little sphere of grace

Igniting

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Mother’s love

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Pinned Image 

Sometimes…

It eats at me. With jaws that chew me up. Fodder for anger and bitterness. Sometimes it just gnaws. But it’s teeth are yellow like a rat’s and it drips bile as it rips me. This anger is familiar. It seeps into my mind like I’ve left a door a open with a welcome mat sitting outside. Maybe I’m comfortable with it. I don’t know, but I treat it like an old friend and let it consume my mind, my gut, my heart, until it spews out of my mouth; I can  feel rage bleed out my fingertips. Oh yes, it is a powerful evil.

This bent, twisted anger. What is it’s root that wraps itself around my soul…a knotted mass in my thoughts?

It is something unforgiven.

An unforgiven towards someone or something that has to be miniscule. It might also be an unforgiven towards myself. But whatever it’s flavor of the day is, it is a nothing, if compared to wrongs done to others. IT IS NOTHING!!! They did nothing.  I did nothing.

Yet…

I’ve blown it up to this ugly mass. I fight the anger it brings, but I’ve lost my arms and legs and can’t bat it away like so many flies leeching my skin, getting stuck in my ears, my mouth. But if I stop fighting, it just sucks me deeper…squelching black mud.

Why though? Why can’t I stop being a slave to something so horrible?

I am saved. I am clean because I’ve been washed that way. The Way that cleanses filth, eradicates dark. Why does anger sometimes drag me down? Where is the Holy Spirit in me? Where is that comfort?

The answer is that when I am not putting away my misdeeds I cannot live. (Rom. 9:13) Holy Spirit help me put this to death and live!

It is because my misdeed is that I have not asked forgiveness for my unforgiveness.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-16)

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (Mark 11:25.)

I break the circle when I don’t confess my sin.

A circle that He closed with His blood.

When I don’t forgive I leave a gap in my spiritual armor. The light and the pure is shot through with the dark…sin and anger.

The sin of unforgiveness has a sick power and it will lock you down.

Forgive the one who wronged you…forgive you, also.

Ask forgiveness from the One who saves and you will have freedom.

Confess your sin. You will have life. Forgive with faith that God will complete the act.

Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you.” ~ Corrie ten Boom

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